


Look Up to the Sky

by nialleritdidnthappen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angel Niall, Drabble, Guardian Angel, Male Friendship, Other, Religion, University Student Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 16:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nialleritdidnthappen/pseuds/nialleritdidnthappen
Summary: In which Harry is a college student in a constant struggle to reconcile his modern ideas with his faith, and Niall is a… shall we say, ‘unorthodox’ guardian angel.





	

“Why can’t anyone else see you?”

It felt like a stupid question when Harry asked it. Like the answer was right before his eyes, but Harry’s vision was too clouded by numbers and theorems and verses and tenets to see it. But the truth was they had never talked about this in depth, and when Harry paused and really let his mind linger on it, it tickled his brain in the most frustrating way. He didn’t understand it – didn’t understand the _physics_ of it. It was a gaping hole in all of his scientific and theological knowledge that he just couldn’t rationalize, which he hated. 

“Because they’re not _meant_ to see me,” Niall said simply, from his comfortable perch on the wide windowsill on the other side of the room. Something in the way Niall had answered made the question feel less stupid, for which Harry was grateful, but it still didn’t quench his thirst to comprehend. Harry sighed, then plucked off his glasses and tossed them unceremoniously onto his tattered copy of _A Brief History of Early Christianity_ , the outspread pages of which he’d been trying and failing to thoroughly dissect for almost half an hour.

“Maybe ‘why’ isn’t the right question,” Harry said, shifting in his chair to face Niall, arms draped atop the backrest. “Maybe ‘how?’ How can they not see you? You’re _here._ You’re physically here. You’re not in my head… so how? _How_ are they unable to see you?”

Niall looked up from the bulky theoretical physics text he’d been perusing as Harry studied, his poorly stifled guffaws half the reason Harry was having such trouble getting through a single paragraph on the Synoptic Problem, let alone an entire chapter.

A warm breeze trickled through the screen of the open window and lightly tousled Niall’s hair, while the midday sunlight created an almost absurdly fitting effect against the same wispy blonde tufts. “I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask, Harry,” he said, lips curving into a smile that seemed half sympathetic, half amused.

Harry huffed and tossed his hands into the air incredulously, pretty fed up at this point with all of Niall’s vague, evasive, phlegmatic answers to his perfectly reasonable questions, if he was being honest with himself. “And who _better_ to ask than _you?”_ he spat.

Niall’s eyebrows arched to new heights as his smirk spread to a grin of disbelief that Harry could ask such a question, and Harry groaned and rolled his eyes…

“ _Jesus_ —”

But he couldn’t catch himself quick enough before Niall chirped in a singsong voice, “That’s the one—”

“Oh _God,_ Ni—”

 “True, you could ask Him as well.”

Harry let out a strangled groan and dropped his head forward in exasperation, forehead slapping onto his folded arms while Niall laughed, snapping the textbook shut and setting it aside. He folded his legs into a pretzel up on the sill and leaned down a bit to try and catch Harry’s eye.

“Hey,” he said kindly, while Harry peeked out at him with a single open eye from where his head lay prostrate on his arms, “I’m sorry. I know I tease a lot but… but I’m also serious. I really don’t know as much as you’d think I would. None of us do,” he shrugged, eyes and voice brimming with empathy.

“It’s just…” Harry began, not having any real idea of what exactly he wanted to say. The words were more of an involuntary reaction to the whole situation, an impulse to continue relieving his frustration in any way possible. “I guess,” he tried again, trying desperately to craft a string of words that could accurately explain what he was feeling — about his research, about his faith, about _Niall_ and the fact that he’s here and he’s _real_ and how much his head spins when he thinks about that.

“I guess, when I finally understood what you were, and why you were here, I had this incredible feeling like all of the answers were finally within my reach,” he said, looking straight into Niall’s startlingly blue eyes. “I thought all the grueling work and all the doubt and all the ridicule I’d been through were finally going to pay off because I had _proof_. I had someone who could _show_ everyone the truth, could show _me_ the truth, but… if anything, the longer you’re here, the more my head seems to… to brim with unanswerable questions.”

Niall drew himself inward a little, eyes downcast as he picked idly at the hem of his plaid shirt, looking thoughtful, and a bit sad, and so _human_ that Harry had to remind himself that Niall was capable of vanishing before his eyes in a flash of white light at any moment if he so chose. Though Harry knew he wouldn’t. At least not until he was called, and not even Niall knew how long that could take.

“I understand. And I know it’s hard to hear this, Harry,” Niall said softly, his tone warm and thoughtfully sensitive to Harry’s gripes, “but I’m not here to help you find answers to all of your questions. I’m here to walk beside you down a path that — otherwise — you may not have had the strength to walk.”

Harry knew there wasn’t much point in arguing, and he cast a somewhat apologetic look at Niall for his constant probing. Niall responded with a smile of silent forgiveness, of which — Harry had learned these past few days — he seemed to be endlessly capable of offering. Harry sighed resignedly and turned back to his books, only to turn quickly back to Niall with one last innocent plea. “Can’t you guys walk beside us down the ever-so-rocky-road to fulfillment _and_ answer all our questions?”

Digging through the stack of Harry’s textbooks he’d gathered on the window for his next read, Niall deadpanned, “Next time He and I go out for pint, I’ll ask Him.”

Exasperated though he was, Harry couldn’t suppress a huff of laughter.

“You know, for a creature who’s supposed to be a paragon of virtue, you’re surprisingly sarcastic,” Harry smirked. 

“Yeah, I got a few slaps on the wing for that before they sent me down here… Oh man, _this_ is gonna be good...”

Harry craned his neck to see what Niall had extracted from the pile, then rolled his eyes and hung his head hopelessly when he saw Niall giddily cracking open a copy of _Reductionism: Analysis and the Fullness of Reality._

No more than ten seconds had passed since Harry had turned back to his studies, and Niall was once again busting with laughter as he flipped through the evidently _hilarious_ sacrilegious text in his lap.

Though he had no plans on admitting it to Niall any time soon, Harry let his lips curl into a fond little smile, secretly deeply thankful for the company and the guidance and yes, even the sarcasm and the ridiculous laughter when he hollered over his shoulder, “Hey angel, shut it will you?! Some of us are trying to study!”


End file.
